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Forgive Yourself and Others

Along the road of your prolonged life you might face too many of difficulties. Out of those difficulties, many will be created by the wrong decisions made by yourself and others who have evil intentions against you might have assisted in creating crucial times in your life. Recalling such instances does make you repent for the past decisions and actions. And might also induce feeling of revenge and equality or maybe you knock the doors of justice in severe cases. Happiness might be destroyed by you or else who do not want you to be happy.  

To experience true freedom, start living for giving and forgiving.Just Win Singh

State Cannot Be Changed

First thing to remember from the above discussion is: Your peace is always dependent. Dependent on what and whom? That is a nice question. Answer is simple: it depends upon your character.

If you are still having a weak character, then your peace of mind is controlled by the society and the prevalent circumstances. The more devastated the society is and the more vulnerable you are, then your peace is in hands of the society not you. Then you are the product of circumstances. How circumstances will transform your feelings will be transformed accordingly.

Whereas, if you are composed of a strong character, then your inner core is strong enough to defend or take no blame for the actions of others or your personal actions even. What has been done, that’s it. State cannot be changed. But the feelings during that state matters. Long lasting feelings develop your attitude towards life.

Feelings During the State Matters

You know my friend that the state cannot be changed. Life is always full of surprises and miseries. Sometimes you will do mistake and sometimes others will let you do mistake and lastly sometimes neither you nor others did any mistake but still you are dragged deep into the troubled state. Nothing can be done about states of life. Because as I told in my previous article Life is Game and We All Are Players, that life is a play and you have to live it, no matter what. There are certain rules but many times there aren’t any. But still we have to pass through it successfully.

Success is vague term introduced by the current era. No one is successful because we all are involved in playing the game of life. And how can we categorically categorize people successful and unsuccessful before the end of the game. Game will end when our life ends. In between the game while covering various stages of life we might be scoring well sometimes and many times we might not be. No problem at all. We are still playing, alive.  

Response to the State Matters

Anyhow, state of life is always dynamic. Rich will get poor, and poor will get rich. Please do not take the superficial meanings of ‘rich will get poor, and poor will get rich’. Richness is the state of the contented heart. Nothing else. A poor woman can be contented if she is happy and satisfied in that condition. Thus, life keeps changing our states. It the response and the reaction towards that state that makes us happy or unhappy.

Thus from the above discussion we came to the accepted conclusion that life is not run on rules and principles. And there is no equality and justice for all. But that does not mean we should be unhappy about it. Interesting part is here.

Learn to Forgive Yourself

Living in the baseless world you might have scored low in your life game in whatever profession and responsibility you are involved in. Underperformance and no performance may let you down and you might start feeling unhappy. State cannot be changed but by forgiving your own self and your own mistakes can give you satisfaction at heart. Just someday forgive yourself for everything wrong you have done.

To forgive is to set the prisoner free and to discover that the prisoner was you.Lewis Smedes

Forgiving is an act of understanding. It is the acceptance of the act by itself. What’s done is done for good, period. The day you learnt to forgive yourself and others that day you would have developed a strong fortress of peace and happiness which cannot be intruded or collapsed easily.

Nothing and nobody can disturb me. I won’t let them.Bernard Baruch

The Resentment of the Haunted Past

Apropos my previous articles Live Now – Forget Past and Forget Future and Stop Your Life – Live in Moments. Where you learnt we humans consistently linger with our past in our current moments. The haunted past disturbs our peace and tranquility of present state of mind. Everyone’s past is having hell of disturbances and unhappy moments. What are we going to do about it? The only thing that needs be done is try to forgive and forget your past.

To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it.Confucius

During the resentment of the past we live that event twice. Once when it originally occurred and second whenever we recall those moments and again we feel the same pain of resentment. Thus, we fell twice the victim of pain. Resentment of past and fear of future eats our happiness away bit by bit.

The Justice Trap

Whenever we are hurt by someone, our trust is broken, our ego is hurt and our heart is disappointed so much that we want to take revenge. Remember, the famous proverb, ‘An eye for an eye’ and ‘Tit for Tat’. We want to make things equal because we are influenced by the myth of equality. Even if you are successful in taking revenge then be ready for retaliation too. Thus, a never ending cycle of revenge will start.

You will not be punished for your anger. You will be punished by your anger.Buddha

Our society is promoting the justice trap which is primary cause of our unhappiness. Get even – wow. Can everything can be even? If earthquake or some other natural calamity occurs, can you get even with that? If sparrow craps over your head, then can you travel half world to take revenge and get even? If your car tyre gets flat, do you burn it down? Certainly not. Do you know why?

Because everything cannot get even. There is nothing like justice for all. Remember, life is game with some superficial rules. Claiming for injustice is not an option, neither there is any place for revenge. You have to just live with it with acceptance for forgiveness.

The Misery of Life

A divorcee will be searching for reasons for separation. A widow will be searching for reasons for death. A deceived, a deceased, the raped, the harassed, the killed, etc. so many miseries. So many reasons. What to equate, whom to ask. Just forget it. And accept it occurrence, forgive yourself and others involved and move forward towards better life.

Faults are thick when love is thin.Anonymous

Forgiving yourself is initial step that whatever happened that happened for good and betterment. Whenever you look at past events in life, many times you will be pleased to know that whatever bad happened in your life had a great meaning and assisted in getting better. There is always learning from bad experiences too. Just you need to ponder and link the events properly.

Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting the bull not to charge at you because you are a vegetarian.Anonymous

Forgiving is a Process

Having said that, forgiving yourself is not enough. You need to forget the bad moments too. Remember, forgiving is a process like success and happiness. It is not a decision that once taken, it will be applied for the rest of your life. Whenever you remember bad events, just keep forgiving yourself. The more you forgive yourself, the more peaceful you will get. And a time will come that bad moment will never be disturbing your current moments even if recalled by someone with evil intentions.

Always remember to forget the things that made you sad, but never forget to remember the things that made you glad.Elbert Hubbard

This Life is What We Make It

 

Let us find the sunny side of men

Or believe in it;

A light there is in every soul.

That takes the pains to win it.

 

Oh! There is a slumbering good in all

And we per chance may wake it;

Our hands contain the magic wand,

This life is what we make it!

 

Then here’s to those whose loving hearts

Shed light and joy about them;

Thanks be to them for countless gems

We never had known without them.

 

Of this should be a happy world,

To all who may partake it;

The fault’s our own if it is not,

This life is what we make it!

Anonymous.

Joke of the Day

During a quarrel with her husband, a wife harked back to a matter which he thought had been trashed out ages ago.

‘But I understood you had forgiven me for that and had promised to forget it’, he said.

‘Yes,’ she replied. ‘I did. But I didn’t promise to let you forget I had forgotten it’.

About the Author

This article is written by Shad Muhammad.


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